Why It Is Worth Reading R. Baker’s Book “Bed Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict and the Evolution of Relationships”

Robin Baker is a novelist, a biologist by education, who in his groundbreaking bestseller "The Bromance: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and the Evolution of Relationships" touches upon many sensitive topics, makes one think about the causes and consequences of the animalistic part of our behavior, and also raises issues that are "not commonly discussed in society." However, before you start reading the book, you should know a few things (I am not forcing you to follow my advice unconditionally, but they can certainly make your reading easier):

Do not take what is written as the complete and unconditional truth. In the process of reading, I had to go through 5 stages of information perception: anger (typical boor, how can he think like that?), denial (no, he's only talking about extreme cases), depression (is everything really that bad?), bargaining (but it can be different...) and acceptance. Also, readers who are "not biologists" should remember that some terms and names (e.g., "Rape Gene") are not the only correct ones, and some phrases are metaphorical in nature ("the body chooses..."). If you find it difficult to remember information the first time, write it down! The book is divided into 11 chapters, which contain 37 scenes, and it is quite difficult to grasp sentences in chapter 30: "...and if you remember scene 4..." Write down each scene at least as a thesis (XY, XX, trip to NN (scene Z)). For those who have no problems with English, read the book in the original!

So, what is in this book that can impress everyone who reads it? Firstly, it is the fact that for every life situation, the author provides his reasoning why, from a biological point of view, we behave in one way or another. For example, why can a woman forget about infidelity or not even know who the father of her child is? Secondly, it is a detailed description and explanation of every "branch" of human sexual behavior – first sex, infidelity (its consequences and prerequisites), male/female masturbation, sexual orientation, group sex, violence, etc. The most negative emotions were evoked in me by the scenes about pedophilia and violence, but it is difficult for an adequate person to perceive such things, let alone imagine them! In addition, the author touches upon the topic of "double standards" more than once (for example, the common opinion that homosexual men are evil and a mental disorder, while homosexual women are normal and intriguing). The most informative and unknown topics for me turned out to be about the movements we make during sex and their role in reproduction, about sperm wars (yes, if a woman cheats while having a regular partner, there is a probability that the child will be from him!), about how to recognize infidelity and how our body and instincts help us in this, as well as the criteria for choosing partners (it turns out that size does matter, but the size of what...). I would like to mention things that I still disagree with. The first is that ovulation typically occurs in response to stress. Yes, such precedents do happen, but they are more of an exception. The second is that the scene about a woman working as a prostitute is described too optimistically. Yes, perhaps the author did not aim to show all the "charms" of this profession, but still, everything looks too cloudless. The third is, in my opinion, the author has not debunked the myth that "men only need one thing, and women... and who can understand these women?", although he did bring these topics up for discussion. And yet, "The Bromance..." is read in one breath and is worth the time spent; I would recommend it to anyone interested in human behavior, topics that are "secret" in some families due to upbringing or moral prejudices, as well as to those who want to better understand the animalistic nature of their "self".